“Show up in every single moment like you’re meant to be there.”
– Marie Forleo
My first born is in kindergarten and ever since school started, it just flipped our lives upside down. It’s only been a month into the school year, yet we have been busy with homework, volunteer work, soccer, kung fu, more homework, fundraising… it’s only been a month!
During these busy days of shuffling the kids from here to there, and tiring myself out with the daily grind of motherhood, I try to think of the future and how different it will be then. How, in the future, I’ll look back on these days and actually want it again.
That doesn’t even make sense to write down.
How can I possibly want to be exhausted, tired, sleep deprived, and fatigued all over again?
Then I think the thoughts most of us parents think when we’re not appreciating our present chaos: that one day, every one of my kids will be independent enough to do everything on their own, including homework. One day, they’ll want to hang out with friends after school instead of sit down and talk my ear off about what they did all day. One day, they won’t really need me as much.
But it’s not just about them needing me to fulfill tasks and take them from point A to point B. When I look back on these days, I’ll be looking back at the funny, happy, cute, silly and intimate moments that made suffering from sleep deprivation worth it.
It’s not easy to imagine the future and suddenly be okay with 3 hours of sleep and the rest of the annoying things about motherhood. This work is hard work, but it’s important work, it’s purposeful work, and it’s the work that my kids will want to see when they’re adults.
So, I continue to make an effort to document these moments with ME in it, despite the fact that I wish, in these images, I was more fit, had brushed my hair, looked more rested, and put on some make up. That’s not the work that matters anyway.
July was fun. We spent some days at the pool, park or having a barbecue; your typical summer activities. But the days I look back on the most, are the ones where we did something simple in each other’s company. Like, staying home; with not much activity going on except the usual chore of breaking up fights between my toddlers, and actual chores like laundry. The simple, everyday life, is my favorite thing to document.
Why? Because its the simple activities, that leave room for deeper bonding. For example, we went to the state fair, but I hardly connected with my kids or family members that came. We were all so distracted with rides, food, and exhibits. While this event is something more exciting and stimulating, there wasn’t as much meaningful connection.
On the other hand, going to see a movie with my two oldest kids, a very simple activity, helped me reconnect with them in a way that’s been lacking since having my two younger babies. Not needing to worry about diapers and puke and breastfeeding, freed up time for me to get to know them better. To learn more about who they are now, who they are becoming, and being more attentive despite their growing independence.
I can’t do that while we’re spinning inside of a large purple dragon.
Life at home may seem boring to many, but it’s filled with beautiful subtle connections within a family that deepens our bond to each other on a spiritual level. These connections, or moments, feel like normal everyday life. But one day, as we’re reminiscing on this present life, we’ll wish we had a way to come back and FEEL what it was like again.
My solution to that problem, is of course photography.
And that’s why I document this everyday life that some call “boring”. Because the everyday life is what matters most. It’s what you hope to never forget.